Stand Firm: Resisting the Self-Improvement Craze by Svend Brinkmann

Author:Svend Brinkmann [Brinkmann, Svend]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781509514281
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2017-02-26T23:00:00+00:00

The consequences of the emotional culture

As Cohen says, there is nothing about feelings in themselves that means we must trust them – let alone express them. In an ever-changing cultural situation, our emotions probably also change faster than ever. One day we are passionately preoccupied by charity work, the next we’re investing our emotions in the latest American TV series. At least, that’s what I’m like – although I do try to avoid too much introversion. As a rule, our feelings don’t constitute a foundation on which to stand firm. Rather, they change in response to prevailing circumstances and trends. It’s an illusion to believe that delving deep into your inner feelings is the path to authenticity. There’s nothing desirable about exploding in anger at a fellow motorist driving too slowly in the fast lane, even if it’s authentic, even if you really are angry about it.

In essence, the worship of authenticity in the pursuit of true feelings infantilises us. The toddler who is swaddled in his feelings – who smiles when happy and cries when frustrated – is therefore implicitly presented as the ideal. Such children may be sweet and delightful, but this cult of the authentic and the childlike is highly problematic in adulthood. As an adult, you should instead admire those who are capable of controlling – even suppressing – negative emotions. You should also be careful not to casually hurl around positive emotions. When repeated too many times, ‘Wow, that’s mega-fantastic!’ quickly loses meaning. Personally, I soon stop listening to people who’ve been trained in appreciative communication and gush with praise all the time. Put your emotions on hold until you really need them. If you ‘hate’ pâté, there are no words left to describe what you think of tyrants. And if you ‘love’ pâté, what words will you use to describe how you feel about your kids? The Stoic ideal of self-control may help you to put things in perspective.

Many will retort that it is completely wrong to suppress feelings. The consequences of doing so – especially of suppressing negative emotions – is that we end up burying our emotions deep inside us, where they fester and make us unwell. We have to express our feelings for the sake of our health! Do we really? The research into this is ambiguous. Suppressing and inhibiting emotions has long been associated with all sorts of ills – from low self-esteem to cancer. But the research findings point in many different directions. For example, some studies show that people with a tendency to suppress feelings such as anger run a greater risk of falling ill, and even contracting cancer – if they are women. For men, the opposite would appear to be the case. Men are more at risk of cancer if they give free rein to their anger.7 Or, to put it in positive terms: the ability to suppress anger reduces the risk of dying of cancer – if you’re male. However, I don’t think you should

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